The Church and the Stupid Sexy Heathen

The nobleman fell to his knees and cried, “Please, release my family from your curse!” Esperance Valois tilted his chin up, arrogance showing itself in a wolfish grin. He said nothing and kept his gaze downward, tail swishing back and forth attentively. Getting no response, Lord Emilien pleaded on. “You’ve seduced my daughter, my son,…

America and North Korea’s Bad Romance

Morals are for pussies. It’s what the Europeans with their socialism and their tiny defense budgets care about. Power. That’s what I respect. And you know what? Maybe I like bad boys. Maybe tough guys turn me on.

Conscience

“This article says that one in every twenty-five Americans has no conscience and can do whatever they want without experiencing guilt.”

Russia Stole My Girlfriend

Japan’s wristlet purse rattled all the way to the coffee bar. “Double shot, please,” she told the machine. It whirred to life and soon a steaming shot of bean water was filling a mug. She fetched a pill pouch from her purse. It had to be holding at least a dozen different pills in all…

Sticks & Carrots

For a while, I’ve wanted to write stories that would play out, at least in one’s head, like a kind of sketch comedy where the “skits” are akin to single-shot gags. I guess technically those are called vignettes. The other caveat: it’s centered entirely around things (both real and made up) that happen at/in the…

You People Are Monsters

Having sex with a werewolf just before the moon’s rising was not Allen’s smartest idea.

Meiguo

Keep dreaming, trashboy.

Cuba’s (Not So) Glorious Communist Romance

Mexico was not North Korea. In fact, they probably didn’t even look the same naked. But Cuba wouldn’t know because she’d never seen what was underneath North Korea’s perfectly pressed, gray suits. If she had, she wouldn’t be sitting next to Mexico then, sticky leather seats beneath them and an expanse of constellations above.