Russia Stole My Girlfriend

Japan’s wristlet purse rattled all the way to the coffee bar. “Double shot, please,” she told the machine. It whirred to life and soon a steaming shot of bean water was filling a mug. She fetched a pill pouch from her purse. It had to be holding at least a dozen different pills in all…

The Problem Child

On America’s birthday, England “fondly” remembers the “best” memories of his “son.”

Guest post: The Darien Disaster

The Darien expedition to a mosquito-blighted swamp overlooked by forbidding mountains that separated the Pacific and Atlantic coasts was an utter disaster for Scotland.

The post-Brexit fallout lads

England and America sat at opposite ends of the couch, beers bottles and a pizza box between them. The thing was, you couldn’t ever look away from America when there was pizza. You’d grab two slices and there’d be six left. Look away for a second. Now there’s two slices left and he’s already eaten half of…

“F#@% the European Union”

England’s Skype call was cut short when the “connection errors” began cropping up. First, Sweden was dropped. Denmark shortly followed. France was suffering an issue where he could hear everyone but nobody could hear him. Netherlands kept trying to connect to the call but failed every miserable time.

Everyone hates Britain

Britain has a very valuable lesson to teach us: If you colonize someone, they will hate you. There’s another valuable lesson: if you’re an imperialist power, other imperialist powers will hate you. Because almost everyone between the years 1700 and 1900 was a colony or an imperialist, almost everyone hated Britain. Maybe the best way to illustrate this…

Bilateral: Three

In that room they orchestrated the fall of Hitler’s empire. In that room they made a promise to kill for peace. In that room they sat side by side and said, “Ideological differences be damned, we have to destroy this evil before it destroys us.” Years passed. In that room they grew nostalgic. England said…