Cuba’s (Not So) Glorious Communist Romance

Mexico was not North Korea. In fact, they probably didn’t even look the same naked. But Cuba wouldn’t know because she’d never seen what was underneath North Korea’s perfectly pressed, gray suits. If she had, she wouldn’t be sitting next to Mexico then, sticky leather seats beneath them and an expanse of constellations above.

The MAGA Chronicles: Globalism is for Cucks

The MAGA Chronicles is a new series that takes you on a journey with Trump’s America, where narcissism and depravity know no bounds. I never wanted to hurt my sister, but the monster must die. My hurried footsteps echo against the walls of the bare corridor in time with my heartbeat. Lights flicker overhead. An…

“America First” a.k.a. “Let’s kill all my relationships”

Ever wondered what the future of US foreign affairs would look like if Trump were actually elected? Here’s a look at some of the possible ways we might butcher our international relations. The US under a Trump presidency: America: Mexico! Hey! Mexico! Mexico: What? Is that you, Satan? America: What did you just call me?…

Happy holidays! Have some cookies

  In the spirit of the holiday, I’ve turned the countries into cookies and let them loose upon each other. They mostly just bugged each other. So, the usual. Disclaimer: I’m really bad at decorating cookies.  

Bilateral: Stuck

They’d only been trapped in the elevator for two minutes before America started freaking out. The moment Mexico looked over, he saw his neighbor pressed into the corner, eyes wide and a light coat of perspiration on his face. “Oh, God, it’s happening.”

Whenever, wherever

245 jets. 8 seats. Double waterfalls. Remote monitoring. Saltwater sanitation. Pillows. Cup holders. Blinky LED lights that change color. A surround sound entertainment system compatible with any kind of music player and a minibar just three feet away. America could brag that his hot tub was ‘the sexiest you’ve ever seen,’ and he was probably right….