“F#@% the European Union”

England’s Skype call was cut short when the “connection errors” began cropping up. First, Sweden was dropped. Denmark shortly followed. France was suffering an issue where he could hear everyone but nobody could hear him. Netherlands kept trying to connect to the call but failed every miserable time.

Everyone hates Britain

Britain has a very valuable lesson to teach us: If you colonize someone, they will hate you. There’s another valuable lesson: if you’re an imperialist power, other imperialist powers will hate you. Because almost everyone between the years 1700 and 1900 was a colony or an imperialist, almost everyone hated Britain. Maybe the best way to illustrate this…

Happy holidays! Have some cookies

  In the spirit of the holiday, I’ve turned the countries into cookies and let them loose upon each other. They mostly just bugged each other. So, the usual. Disclaimer: I’m really bad at decorating cookies.  

Bilateral: Family

They sat side by side on bar stools with margaritas in their hands. Hers was some shade of red and his was a kind of purple. “You remind me of your brother sometimes.” Canada was caught between a scoff and a laugh. “France, please, I’m trying to enjoy myself.” France didn’t say anything, which would have…

Who Should You Fight: Security Council edition

Ever thought about brawling a member of the United Nations? Here’s some advice. United States: Go for it. He’s a superpower but he’s prone to making mistakes. Start with a jab at American exceptionalism and follow up by telling him George Washington was a socialist. You can go in for the kill while he’s having…

Word games

“If you could eat anyone here, who would it be?” Security Council meetings weren’t always productive. Nor were they usually fun. America decided to change that. England looked up from his notes after a pause to bore a narrow, scrutinizing gaze into the American. “What?” “If you could–no, if you had to–eat someone in this room,…