Meet The Countries

 United States of America

Story illustration

Best quality: Everything
: Democracy, freedom, assimilation
Weakness: Reoccurring nightmares

He’s an asshole with probably too much power and a god complex, and he’ll do anything for the greater good. Anything.

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North Korea


Best quality: Survivability
 Cleaning, cyber attacks, xenophobia
Weakness: Panic attacks

They say the darkest, most volatile, most toxic element known to man is named after him. He says that’s imperialist propaganda and that “they” should **** themselves.

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Header image

Best quality: Wasn’t destroyed by communism
 Cigarettes, soap operas, American debt
Weaknesses: Air pollution

It’s hard to make a comeback as big as this guy has. He’s rich, popular (among internet communists), and probably would get laid all of the time if he were actually attracted to anything other than money.

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Illustration of Russia

Best quality: Resiliency
 Ice skating, hot cocoa, the tears of others
Weakness: The 90s

You either love Russia or hate Russia; there’s no in-between. She thinks it would be swell if you chose to love her, but if you don’t, she has a way of fixing that.

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South Korea

Story illustration of South Korea making a heart sign

Best quality: Smile
 Music, competitive gaming, homogeneity
Weaknesses: Second-hand embarrassment (usually caused by brother)

She’s the kind of role model little girls all over the world should have; she’s confident, successful, more or less democratic, and can land a pentakill with her eyes closed.

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Best quality: Cultural prowess
 Fried pickles, role-playing games, living far away from the family
Weakness: Not far away enough

She’s been peaceful for 70 years, but that doesn’t mean she’s been at peace. Her problematic neighbors keep her busy during the day, her inner demons keep her up at night.

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