A vote was held within the security council that called for America to take back his recognition of Jerusalem as Israel’s capital.
UK: America, what you’ve done also recognizes–and furthermore, legitimizes–Israel’s annexation of East Jerusalem and its settlement-building. Don’t you see how this might create problems?
France: Such a harsh departure from international norms puts you at odds with the rest of the community, yet your cooperation is imperative to peace efforts.
America: [He looks down, brow burrowing in what appears to be self-reflection]
Okay, okay, I hear you. Maybe I was being careless. Maybe I did threaten regional stability. Maybe this would be a roadblock to peacefully resolving the Israel-Palestine conflict. Clearly, this issue is something all of you feel strongly about, and your adamant consensus is persuasive. So, you know what I’ll do?
I’ll use my . . . VETOOOO. That’s right, I win. Oh, I got outnumbered 14 to 1? Doesn’t. Even. Matter. With one word, I destroyed your votes. Absolutely annihilated. Who do you think you are? Y’all straight up EMBARRASSING yourselves right now. You don’t tell ME what to do, I tell YOU what to do. You’re welcome. You’re welcome. Happy Hanukkah. MERRY CHRISTMAS. I’m OUT. Goodbye. Fuck you.
And so it went.