World Christmas Wishlists

“Is that a new cologne?”
“Please don’t sniff me.”

Christmas is fast approaching, and even countries suffer from seasonal materialism. I’ve intercepted their letters to Santa and put together for you a list of their deepest desires this Xmas.


  • A way to just completely erase 2016
  • Cosmetics to remove orange hue from skin
  • Every single model of NERF gun that has been sold since 2001
Hell yeah. Photo by Adam Greig


  • Ukraine
  • Lithuania
  • Estonia
  • Latvia
  • Bulgaria


  • The ability to feel human emotion again


  • Baby lotion
  • Thick rope
  • Scented candles
  • CD where the only song is Careless Whispers repeated 16 times
  • Armoured Trains: An Illustrated Encyclopedia 1825-2016
Photo by Carnivore Locavore

North Korea

  • MacBook Pro
  • Light-up sneakers
  • Enriched uranium
  • Missiles that actually launch
  • Coping with Psychological Trauma For Dummies

South Korea

  • Political stability
  • $100 worth of Loot Boxes
  • 20 cats


  • The South China Sea
  • The East China Sea
  • Taiwan
  • Vicodin
  • A friend
A nutritious breakfast.
Photo by Eric Norris


  • Fidel Castro’s unfinished deathbed cigar
  • Sidney Crosby jersey from rookie year
  • Fuller House Season 1
  • Scarves for polar bears
  • A better brother


  • Espresso machine
  • 3rd pet emu
  • Snow
  • A spaceship to colonize the moon!!!

The United Kingdom

  • Independence, for Scotland
  • Henry VIII’s Horcrux, for Wales
  • Framed, glossy .jpegs of Ringo Starr’s artwork circa 2005, for England
  • Help, for Nothern Ireland
“Yer Baby” by Ringo Starr
You can buy it for $3,800 at his website


  • Adult coloring books
  • Bath bombs
  • Gift card to Louis Vuitton
  • Harry Potter Illustrated Boxset
  • Uncontested control of Kashmir

What’s on your Christmas list this year?

Thank you for the references I used for the header image.

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