Welcome to Political Debrief, where the news isn’t really news. But sometimes it’s got news in it.
This week around the world:
China accidentally hacked into the Pentagon while trying to shop for bath robes online. The United States was very impressed, but also very angry.
Wales reported watching TV when she heard a loud thud from the bathroom and England swearing vehemently. England reported hearing hysterical laughter coming from the living room.
North Korea made bitter, vague comments on his blog and it’s still up for debate over who they’re about. His use of the word “friend” definitely narrows it down.
Germany had a glow stick accident. He’s not giving any specific details, but he won’t be able to jive for weeks. He received many Get Well Soon wishes–except from Switzerland, who sent him a congratulatory baby shower card. In his defense, Switzerland claimed there had been a “serious misunderstanding.”
Australia lamented that this morning when applying deodorant, the stick popped out of place and fell to the ground. Don’t you hate it when that happens?
India is offering free sandesh as an incentive to anyone interested in buying weapons and ammunition from him. This plan backfired, however, when people started calling in wanting to buy just the dessert.
Russia wrote a personal letter to Mark Zuckerberg endorsing the ‘dislike’ button. When asked why, she responded, “To destroy everything America loves using his own flawed, consumerist system.”
Earlier this week, Canada received an eye injury from her computer mouse. Without thinking, she turned it over to turn it on and the violent “on” light got her like a laser and had her seeing spots for hours.
In an inebriated state, France confused a laundry detergent pod for candy. His mouth has been tingling ever since.
Check out Behind the Scenes for a fun explanation of this story’s historical and political references.